Marcel Legros - Play the Game of Life

Here’s my current top 5 list of lies, schemes, ploys, and lingo that drive me nuts.

“Low-fat foods, low-carb foods, and calorie reduced foods are healthy.” I accidentally purchased low-fat cheese once. It tasted like a combination of ear wax and vomit. Do you know how low-fat foods are made? The fat is replaced with sugar, chemical additives, gums, binders, and salt. Cigarettes and gasoline are low fat, but that doesn’t make them healthy either.

“Think Outside the Box” You might as well scream “I’m a twit!” This phrase usually comes from the least qualified person in a meeting with absolutely nothing new to say. The next time I hear you say “Think Outside the Box,” I’m going to set fire to it, and bury you in that damned box.

“A New Paradigm” “Think outside the box”, for mediocre, 50 year-old MBA’s.

“Synergy” When two or more groups come together and produce a combined result greater than the individual parts, it can be called a synergy. When big, slow corporations run out of steam, they resort to acquiring smaller, more dynamic companies. Then “synergy” means, “Give us your assets, your talent, your ideas, and you can keep your job. Give us time to improve your systems and crush your spirit.”

Stock photos of happy business people shaking hands, leaping over bushes in three-piece suits, and sitting on the mountain tops while checking corporate email. What the hell are these people supposed to be doing? I’ve never checked email on a mountaintop and I certainly wouldn’t be jumping around in a suit either. Obviously someone is, because ad agencies keep buying junk like this.