Marcel Legros - Play the Game of Life

I’m So Smart, I’m Stupid

Have you ever taken a free IQ test online? I have. Personality and IQ testing is fun, but ultimately pointless fun. IQ tests don’t actually measure intelligence - they measure how well you solve problems using logic. Computers can apply powerful logic to a problem, but they are not intelligent. The most important aspect to your success is not your IQ, it is your emotional intelligence, or ‘EQ’ for short. Emotional intelligence affects the quality of our relationships and depth of connection to the rest of humanity - it defines our success. The clinical definition for emotional intelligence is rapidly changing but here is how I see it:

Emotional intelligence is the understanding if your own emotions and ability to read and understand the emotions of others. EQ is a unique result when mental thought is applied to emotions. A high level of emotional intelligence has the power to influence and persuade other people. Charisma and empathy are both a part of EQ. Emotional intelligence in conflict situations have the power to settle long-standing disputes or difficult negotiations.

Here is a great article from EQ Today that explains emotional intelligence more fully.

Time to Tune Your EQ

You are born with your IQ and it cannot be improved on by learning more. Too bad, but IQ is static. The best you can hope for is an increase of about 5 points, no matter what. EQ, however, is a learned skill and can be improved upon, no matter what your IQ is. It is only beginning to be understood and is not taught in mainstream school curriculum but it certainly should be. What can we do to improve our EQ? Here are a few primers:

• Realize that you are never in control of others, only of yourself.
• Become aware of your emotions. Pay close attention to emotions that seem to dominate or sweep you away.
• If you are faced with a difficult situation, ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen here?”
• A healthy and strong EQ is flexible. How well do you deal with a change of plans. Do you resist situations you cannot control?
• Remembering someone’s first name lets them know you care. When you meet someone new, repeat their name back to them immediately. Write it down after your first meeting.
• Learn that it is impossible to win an argument. You will learn most about your emotional intelligence in conflict situations.
• Listen when others are talking. Do not interrupt. Try not to think about what you will say next - just listen. Make eye contact.
• Be lavish with your praise towards others. Let them know when they’ve done well with kind appreciation. Do not use flattery - flattery is a cheap substitute and is insincere.
• If you’re wrong, promptly admit it. Take full responsibility. Do not make excuses or lie about it.
• Smile. Bring laughter and humour into your life when you’re feeling down.
• Give back, especially when there is little chance for personal reward. Provide a service or your time - signing a check to a faceless charity will not improve your relationships with others.
• Lastly and most importantly, make time to connect honestly and openly with your loved ones every day. Become comfortable saying these three things; “I love you”, “I am sorry”, and “I was wrong, please forgive me”.