Marcel Legros - Play the Game of Life

Interested in being happier and more successful? We can all learn a lesson from an episode of TV’s “Star Trek” that gets in under our radar and teaches us the importance of focusing on the positive.

In one episode, the crew lands on a vacation destination planet where they could create any reality they wanted, just by thinking about it. At first they have a great time creating wonderful things, but gradually become bored and tired and begin to focus on negative things, which creates negative situations for their reality there. Many of us run our lives the same way, by starting out focusing on the things we want, but then shift our focus to what we don’t want and our lives turns out as badly as the “Star Trek” crew’s in that episode.

So how do you focus on the positive? You need to make a decision to focus on the positive, it doesn’t just happen. As a motivational expert, I stress the importance of having goals to guide your life and “focusing on the positive” should be one of them.

People attending my seminars are surprised when I tell them to announce to the people they are in contact with that you intend to focus on the positive. My personal experience with this is that the reactions you receive will run the gamut from total acceptance to almost outright hostility. I advise you not to let the reaction of others to affect your own thoughts and behavior. By announcing to the world that you intend to focus on the positive, you reinforce your decision by putting yourself on notice and encouraging other people to give feedback on how you are doing regarding being positive.

Scientific research can help you take full advantage of a positive focus to make decisions. Research shows that we tend to become happier as we move through the day. Our mood is generally lowest when we wake then peaks at noon, then declines till four in the afternoon, and then begins to build to its highest point of the day around 10 PM. So use those peak times to make plans, set goals, tackle hard jobs, etc. Make decisions when you are the most upbeat during the day in order to reduce the negatives in your life from pulling you back.

It also helps to realize that you can only control yourself, you can’t control things like the weather, things that other people do or don’t do, mechanical failures and so on. Focusing only on what you can control takes a lot of pressure off you and leads to greater happiness.

Business and Life Coach Theresa A Smith spends time having her clients become very clear about what they want of life and then helping them focus heavily on pursuing the steps needed to attain that life. She finds knowing what you want out of life and then working towards it is the number one step her clients can take to give them long lasting happiness.

I publish a free daily One Minute Motivator via email and YouTube and in a recent one I said,

“Every day we have a choice. We can choose to focus on negative thoughts that leave us feeling insecure, frightened and cynical or we can choose to focus on positive thoughts that empower us and fill us with a sense of optimism about our world and our role in it. What type of thoughts we choose to focus on, grow stronger, and the other type will grow weaker. Make the choice to focus on the positive, and you will find it gets easier the longer you do it.”

In my book, “Sixty Seconds To Success,” I make a similar point.

“Your focus is your future. You get what you focus on. You can focus on the things that will move you and your projects ahead, or you can focus on things that will not. Focus brings all your power together and enables you to do things in one area that you couldn’t do without it. Picture yourself achieving your goals, and your chances of achieving them go up dramatically. Believe it and you’ll see it.

What you think about on a daily basis is what your future will be like. Tibetan monks believe that if you want to know your future, look at what you’re doing right now. Everything we do now affects what will happen next. Our life’s a chain of now’s and all the things we did in those now’s. Now is what counts and now is what will make your future.”

The two worlds are there for each of us to choose which to live in. Choose the world of your dreams and focus on the positive in your life - it’s as close as your next thought- and before long your dream will be your reality.

[Read more →]

There’s an old saying, “You Can Never Go Home.”

I understand the sentiment behind the proverb, but I feel the need to add to it, with:

“You can never go home. You’re already there, and you’ve never left.”

When you go back to places and people from your past, they’re never quite the same as you remembered them. Often, you’re let down and disappointed by what you find but often they’re exactly as you left them. It’s a strange feeling, returning to a childhood haunt or place of past importance to you. It feels like you’re walking onto the set of your own movie, somehow. It’s even stranger to contact someone you haven’t spoken to in years and say hello.

Try This:

Go to a place you haven’t visited in a long time - somewhere important to you.

Call someone you haven’t talked to since you were a kid - maybe an old friend, neighbor, realtive, or teacher.

It’s exciting and satisfying, but I’m not entirely sure why.

[Read more →]

I said to my husband the other night: “We’re perfectly normal (in a secret service kind of way). We just wear our tics on the inside.”

What common denominator quantifies someone as normal? I’d like to meet the asshole who created the median and rough him up a bit. Unfortunately, there is no singular asshole to blame - just a mass of humanity trying to fit in and fly under the radar.

We are taught to care about other people’s opinions from an early age. “What will the neighbors think?” is the gold standard in disempowerment. It disables unique expression and separates us from emotional authenticity. We become liars by omission. Showing the world only what we think is acceptable, and slamming the lid on creativity. How can we lead full and enriching lives if were always looking over our shoulders to gauge the reaction of the guy in the next row. Who’s life is it anyway?
Why Do We Succumb? The Cost of Doing Business

It begins on the playground and escalates through high school. The desire to be accepted. If you are different you run the risk of beatings—or worse; becoming a social misfit. The fear of being alone can motivate us to do a lot of stupid things. But at what cost? Veiling our nature in order to blend in, detaches us from our experiences. Choosing ‘safe’ scenarios, to protect ourselves from pain—leads to boredom and discontent. The old Pink Floyd song “Comfortably Numb” is a great example of a life half lived.

Think of all the great minds who were at one time or another deemed ‘odd’. Their contributions to our world have been immense. I’m not suggesting anarchy (that would be creepy). Just the ‘eyes wide open wonder’ that comes from being truthful with yourself and genuine with others.

Self acceptance.

So stir the pot, jump on the bed, cross your eyes, and laugh till it hurts. Don’t worry; it’s normal.

Changing the world, one follower at a time.

[Read more →]

Saintly patience doesn’t happen overnight - it’s like a muscle and needs to be exercised every day. You don’t just step into the gym and lift 500 pounds on your first day - you patiently work up to it. You build the strength and tolerance to lift 500 pounds over a long period of time by training your body every day. One day, after months or years of training, you are able to lift 500 pounds and everyone will be astounded by your strength. Instead of admiring your strength, they should be admiring the patience that allowed you to train so hard for so long.

Life gives you opportunities every day to exercise your patience, if you recognize them for an opportunity instead of an obstacle. I used to say, “I’d be more patient and calm if everyone else weren’t conspiring against me. The world just keeps throwing obstacles in front of me! Why are people so crazy, slow, dumb, difficult, etc.?” Now I try to look on every delay and every difficult situation as an opportunity to exercise my patience. I simply smile and recognize that the universe is giving me an opportunity to become a better, stronger person. It’s now become a challenge to see just how long I can drive in the city without throwing a fit and cursing out loud (I’m up to four hours now). Bring it on, old people, logging trucks, and red lights; I’m exercising my patience! Pretty soon I won’t be honking my horn and flipping you the bird; how are you going to piss me off then?

Patience Isn’t Inborn - Just Ask a Two Year-Old

I’m not a naturally patient person. In fact, I’ve gone through life continuously moving from one frustrating delay to another. I’m improving my patience by repeating the following phrase whenever I encounter delays and setbacks in my life.

Life’s delays aren’t life’s denials.

Just because you don’t get what you want immediately doesn’t mean you won’t get it eventually. If I’m stuck in a traffic jam and late for an appointment, my plans might not work out according to schedule. Getting angry and upset will do nothing to improve the situation - when I’m angry and impatient, bad things happen.

Develop Universal Patience

The power of water is an example of how patience can be applied to your life with amazing results. One drop of water falling on a stone does nothing but make it wet. But if that same drip is repeated over and over again for thousands of years, water will easily drill a hole right through the middle of the stone. Consider blogging: if you write three, five hundred word articles a week, for one year, you’ll have written an average length fiction novel at the end of that year. Just to give you perspective, J.R.R. Tolkien spent 14 years writing the Lord of the Rings; it’s word count is just over 300,000. If you apply the same blogging example above, you can easily write over 1,092,000 words - enough time to write two epic novels with room to spare!

Write your great novel one blog entry at a time.

[Read more →]

Two men are standing by the shore of a lake.

‘I’ll bet I can swim across this lake to to other side,” the first man says to the other.

“No you can’t! I’ll take you up on that bet,” the second man replied.The first man strips off his clothes, jumps in the lake and begins swimming. After about 20 minutes, he’s nearly to the other side. He gets about 10 feet from the beach, then turns around and swims back.

The first man is amazed and yells across the lake, “What the hell are you doing? You were almost there!”

“I got too tired, so I’m coming back!”

Of course, this joke is ridiculous. Who would give up 10 feet short of their goal when quitting required 10 times the effort? The answer: almost everyone.

Consider the law student who studies for years and pays thousands of dollars to a university, only to give up and fail her bar exam. Consider the blogger who writes faithfully for months, only to quit because there are only 10 visitors coming to his site every day. How about the employee who passes up an expensive training course that would prepare him for a real career once it’s completed. Maybe you think it’s too difficult to save $200 a month to invest in assets that will pay for all your living expenses when you retire.

What Do People Mean By “Don’t Work Hard, Work Smart?”

Pushing hard until you reach your goal is always tough, but the quitting is even tougher. It takes desire, focus, faith, imagination, and effort to be successful. Mediocrity only requires effort, so many people think it’s the easier path. There’s nothing wrong with being average, as long as you’re happy paying your dues with 10 times the effort. Do you want to work hard for low pay all your life? That’s the cost of taking the ‘easier’ path. Working “smart” doesn’t mean it’s effortless - it means you use your mind to achieve greater rewards and better results. Pretty simple, huh?

Great ideas, great riches, and great people are created with focus, desire, faith, and imagination. Nurture these qualities and don’t give up when you’re 10 feet from your goal - it’s a long swim back.

[Read more →]

“Oops, I forgot to pick up the milk, and sign the permission slip for my son’s field trip!”

Why do we forget the little things? Simple - you only remember what is emotionally important to you.

Unless you’re already financially free or self-employed, I’ll bet you’ve been late to work at least once this year. What if I said; “Come to work at 4 am every morning for a year. If you’re on time every day, I’ll give you a million dollars?” I’m positive that 100% of you would show up on time every day. A million dollars is far more emotionally important to you than getting your beauty sleep. Your actions are always a reflection of what you value; they are driven by the emotional payoff you receive.

[Read more →]

Those who wish to keep a rule of life
Must guard their minds in perfect self-possession
Without this guard upon the mind,
No discipline can ever be maintained.

Wandering where it will, the elephant of mind,
Will us down to pains of deepest hell.
No worldly beast, however wild,
Could bring upon us such calamities.

If, with mindfulness’ rope,
The elephant of the mind is tethered all around,
Our fears will come to nothing,
Every virtue drop into our hands.

Tigers, lions, elephants, and bears,
Snakes and every hostile beast,
Those who guard the prisoners in hell,
All ghosts and ghouls and every evil phantom,

By simple binding of this mind alone,
All these things are likewise bound.
By simple taming of this mind alone,
All these things are likewise tamed.

Source: The Way of the Bodhisattva - Shantideva - Chapter 5

[Read more →]

Stress is a poor, misunderstood creature. It’s vilified and treated as a mortal enemy. People want to conquer it, manage it, and escape from it. Stress management products are everywhere. Yet stress not your enemy - it’s your best friend. Stress is healthy and necessary for your growth and survival. That ugly pit in your stomach or low-level dissatisfaction you feel isn’t stress at all. That’s anxiety, not stress. The difference is more than semantic. When you look closely, stress and anxiety are not the same at all.

[Read more →]

You Don’t Know You’re Dreaming
What is meditation? How do you do it? Why do it? There is nothing more powerful than awareness. Meditation is the tool you use to become aware of your inner world as well as your outer world. It is like exercise for your spirit - it strengthens your understanding of how […]

[Read more →]

The problem with time
The diagram above represents the human mind in time. The large gray area on the left is past. The large gray area on the right is future. The thin sliver of white in between them is the present. For most of us, this diagram also represents how much time our minds spend […]

[Read more →]